12/29/07

Sunny Beaches, Exploding Windows, and Naked Bike Riders

It was Christmas Eve when I started writing this and it was the most unlike-Christmas eve I've ever had. There was no tree, lights, presents, and the only sign that it was Christmas was the one that said “By Executive order of the president of the United States the Padre Island National Seashore visitor's center will be closed Monday Dec 24th for Christmas eve and Tuesday Dec 25th Christmas day. I found that sign amusing because it sounded so dramatic and I even wondered if they didn't word it that way for a joke. All they had to do was say it was closed; it wasn't like Bush himself called them personally and told them to shut down.

It wasn't the kind of Christmas I would have wanted as a child, but these days it was right on target. I watched the sun go down over Laguna Madre in the west here at Padre Island and then an hour or so later it was the near full moon coming up over the Ocean in the East. There's a mysterious beauty about moonlight shinning on the ocean of a dark deserted ghostly beach. My dad was asleep in the van and without a soul around, for a moment I felt like the only person in the universe and there was no such thing as Christmas. Surprisingly enough there were more people here than I expected on Christmas day, which told me that there are more people than I thought looking for a non traditional Christmas. It was a sunny sixty degrees, and if not for a couple of people in Christmas hats, one wouldn't have known it was Christmas day.

I celebrated by putting on my t-shirt and shorts and going for an extra long jog along the Ocean. This is probably the nicest Texas beach area that I have seen so far and much cleaner and more scenic than Surfside in Freeport . Of course it was another cold shower, but I'm not complaining. It was clean and it worked. The rule of the trip is; I only jog when I know I can shower and that isn't too often. Maybe I shouldn't be admitting that.

Being the off season there weren't many people around, but occasionally I would pass a person or two as I was jogging. I had gone about three miles to the north and a guy on a bike who was wearing a t-shirt, shorts, glasses, and a hat, passed me and I said hello as I did to everyone else. About ten minutes later I turned south and started heading back when I saw the same bike rider in the distance. He had taken his shirt off and then as he got closer I noticed his shorts were gone and I was like—did he put on a thong or something? I saw a guy in Florida wearing a thong once and I thought it was ridiculous, so I thought, is this another one? Then as he got really close I realized he was stark naked and I was like... What the fuc##!!!

So what possessed him to take his clothes off and ride his bike naked?

Well, I wasn't about to ask him, but I had a couple of theories. Maybe he was gay and was hoping that I was too and he wanted to show me what he's got, or maybe he was running a fever of a hundred and six and he needed to cool off. It was a nice day, but it was way too chilly for a naked bike ride (I only do it when it's about 100). What ever it was, I concluded that he was a first class whack job screw ball who needs a good shrink. One bad bump on a bike with no support down there could end a guy's bike riding career for good and I think the men of the world would agree.

On the other hand, if it had been a nice looking whack job screwball of a woman, I might have started jogging along side of her and tried something clever and funny for the fun of it like…. “I love your bathing suit! It has such a cool transparent look, and it really shows off your curves and things. By the way, I seem to have run further than I thought and I'm simply exhausted do you think you could give me a lift on your handlebars?

In other exciting news from the road, we were about thirty miles outside of Bay City Texas last Friday on route 35 when for no apparent reason the driver side window exploded into a million little pieces. My dad seriously thought that I had been shot and was expecting to see blood running out of me somewhere. After all, this is gun happy Texas ; look what happens when Texans become presidents. (That's for you Brian) I don't know what caused it, but it scared the living shit out of me and I'm lucky that none of it wound up in my face or eyes. Most of it was in my lap and on the floor.

To sum up my disposition on this trip, yesterday morning I was sitting outside in my t-shirt in the sun playing my guitar and my dad was watching and listening. After about five minutes he said “It must be nice to be able to play music and sit out here like this, you look like a happy being" Throughout the day I thought about his observation of me and it was more like, there's not much around here to make me unhappy. It's a simple, sunny, worry free existence, and no wonder I look like a happy being; I am. I'm not the only one either. Last night as we sat by the beach watching the sunset over Laguna Madre my dad said quote un-quote “this is living”. He's even thinking about finishing out the winter here by himself while I go back on a train.

That being said, though I'm looking forward to getting back to the band, it will be tough to leave this mild and pleasant weather. I hope this update finds you all well and that your holidays were memorable.

From the world of sunny beaches, exploding windows, naked bike riders, and Wal-Mart super centers (oh yeah, I forgot to tell you about those. I'll cover that in my next update) this is me signing off at Padre Island.

Cheers,
John